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The worst mistake they ever made was educating Marmalade.

back from the dead to save you all from yourselves
I'm Jamie, I dwell in London Below with a cat as full of follies as a pudding is of plums. I use LJ to read things while pursuing my vendetta against the English language through the valleys of bemusement and bleak fenlands of blank incomprehension. Feel free to add and comment or lurk just as you please and also to unfollow if you lose interest. You can tell me if you like but you don't need to. I will not introduce you to Jelena Janković. I will not give you her digits. I am not better known as MC Flava, nor have I ever been a member of Blazin' Squad.

Yes, I run doctorwho. Problem? Page-a-mod or doctorwhomods at gmail dot com. Thanks.

'Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.' -John Lennon

'If you don't wanna feel just make believe that nothing's real.' -Edwyn Collins

'You can feel anything you wanna feel and call it real. But I don’t wanna be the one who rides flame.' -Lou Barlow

'I could have been like Lou Barlow, but I'm more like Ken Barlow.' -Nigel Blackwell

'I wish I could forget the theme tune to the Coco Pops advert... But sometimes I'm glad I know it.' -Russell Brand

'I recognise my limits, but when I look around? I realise I'm not exactly living in a world of giants.' -Giulio Andreotti

'Though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain.' -Don John

'You taught me language and my profit on't is I know how to curse. The red plague rid you for learning me your language!' -Caliban

'You think it all breaks down into symbolism and structures and hints and clues. No, Batman, that's just Wikipedia.' -The Joker

'You won't find me, truth to tell, to be a man who suffers fools very well. Quite the opposite, in fact. I ain't got time to interact with crystal wearing freaks in need of a smack.' -MC Hawking

'More destructive and troublesome than ever, I'll probably be doing this, probably forever! Fellas wanna stop me, they'll probably come together, it's probable they'll stop me, probably NEVER!' -Dizzee

'No amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party that inflicted those bitter experiences on me. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin.' -Aneurin Bevan

'If you're a Hutu who accidentally strolls into a Tutsi warrior camp, you're entitled to go "Huh, just my luck. Story of my life." But if you've gone down the shops for a packet of biscuits and they've run out of your favourite sort, shut the fuck up and put up with it.' -Mark Steel

'In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times that's what the fuck life is; one vile fucking task after another. But don't get aggravated; then the enemy has you by the short-hairs.' -Al Swearengen

'I smile when I'm angry. I cheat and I lie. I do what I have to do to get by. But I know what is wrong and I know what is right. And I'd die for the truth in my secret life.' -Leonard Cohen

'That's what being a megalomaniac is all about - it doesn't mean you're going to rule the world, it means you can make your own world and rule over it.' -Gonzales

'I'm like a combination of Joe Stalin and Woody Allen.' -Gonzales

'Death solves all problems. No man, no problem.' -not Stalin

'See, I don't give a fuck. That's the problem.' -Eazy-E

'It happened. Let's all agree to stop whining about it.' -Spike

'No. I'm a rebel. You're an idiot.' -Spike

'Let's go to work.' -Angel

I Cannot Give The Reasons

I cannot give the reasons,
I only sing the tunes:
the sadness of the seasons
the madness of the moons.

I cannot be didactic
or lucid, but I can
be quite obscure and practic-
ally marzipan

In gorgery and gushness
and all that's squishified.
My voice has all the lushness
of what I can't abide

And yet it has a beauty
most proud and terrible
denied to those whose duty
is to be cerebral.

Among the antlered mountains
I make my viscous way
and watch the sepia fountains
throw up their lime-green spray.

Mervyn Peake

London 1941

Half masonry, half pain; her head
From which the plaster breaks away
Like flesh from the rough bone, is turned
Upon a neck of stones; her eyes
Are lidless windows of smashed glass,
Each star-shaped pupil
Giving upon a vault so vast
How can the head contain it?

The raw smoke
Is inter-wreathing through the jaggedness
Of her sky-broken panes, and mirrored
Fires dance like madmen on the splinters.

All else is stillness save the dancing splinters
And the slow inter-wreathing of the smoke.

Her breasts are crumbling brick where the black ivy
Had clung like a fantastic child of succour
And now hangs draggled with long peels of paper
Repeating still their ghosted leaf and lily.

Grass for her cold skin's hair, the grass of cities
Wilted and swaying on her plaster brow
From winds that stream along the streets of cities:

Across a world of sudden fear and firelight
She towers erect, the great stones at her throat,
Her rusted ribs like railings round her heart;
A figure of dry wounds -of winter wounds-
O mother of wounds; half masonry, half pain.

Mervyn Peake

Personal Helicon

As a child, they could not keep me from wells
And old pumps with buckets and windlasses.
I loved the dark drop, the trapped sky, the smells
Of waterweed, fungus and dank moss.

One, in a brickyard, with a rotted board top.
I savoured the rich crash when a bucket
Plummeted down at the end of a rope.
So deep you saw no reflection in it.

A shallow one under a dry stone ditch
Fructified like any aquarium.
When you dragged out long roots from the soft mulch
A white face hovered over the bottom.

Others had echoes, gave back your own call
With a clean new music in it. And one
Was scaresome, for there, out of ferns and tall
Foxgloves, a rat slapped across my reflection.

Now, to pry into roots, to finger slime,
To stare, big-eyed Narcissus, into some spring
Is beneath all adult dignity. I rhyme
To see myself, to set the darkness echoing.

Seamus Heaney

Fern Hill

Now as I was young and easy under the apple boughs
About the lilting house and happy as the grass was green,
    The night above the dingle starry,
        Time let me hail and climb
    Golden in the heydays of his eyes,
And honoured among wagons I was prince of the apple town
And once below a time I lordly had the trees and leaves
        Trail with daisies and barley
    Down the rivers of the windfall light.

And as I was green and carefree, famous among the barns
About the happy yard and singing as the farm was home,
    In the sun that is young once only,
        Time let me play and be
    Golden in the mercy of his means,
And green and golden I was huntsman and herdsman, the calves
Sang to my horn, the foxes on the hills barked clear and cold,
        And the sabbath rang slowly
    In the pebbles of the holy streams.

All the sun long it was running, it was lovely, the hay
Fields high as the house, the tunes from the chimneys, it was air
    And playing, lovely and watery
        And fire green as grass.
    And nightly under the simple stars
As I rode to sleep the owls were bearing the farm away,
All the moon long I heard, blessed among stables, the nightjars
    Flying with the ricks, and the horses
        Flashing into the dark.

And then to awake, and the farm, like a wanderer white
With the dew, come back, the cock on his shoulder: it was all
    Shining, it was Adam and maiden,
        The sky gathered again
    And the sun grew round that very day.
So it must have been after the birth of the simple light
In the first, spinning place, the spellbound horses walking warm
    Out of the whinnying green stable
        On to the fields of praise.

And honoured among foxes and pheasants by the gay house
Under the new made clouds and happy as the heart was long,
    In the sun born over and over,
        I ran my heedless ways,
    My wishes raced through the house high hay
And nothing I cared, at my sky blue trades, that time allows
In all his tuneful turning so few and such morning songs
    Before the children green and golden
        Follow him out of grace.

Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me
Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand,
    In the moon that is always rising,
        Nor that riding to sleep
    I should hear him fly with the high fields
And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
        Time held me green and dying
    Though I sang in my chains like the sea.

Dylan Thomas

The Two or The Witnesses

You are the town and we are the clock.
We are the guardians of the gate in the rock.
        The Two.
On your left and on your right
In the day and in the night,
        We are watching you.

Wiser not to ask just what has occurred
To them who disobeyed our word;
        To those
We were the whirlpool, we were the reef,
We were the formal nightmare, grief
        And the unlucky rose.

Climb up the crane, learn the sailor's words
When the ships from the islands laden with birds
        Come in.
Tell your stories of fishing and other men's wives
The expansive moments of constricted lives
        In the lighted inn.

But do not imagine we do not know
Nor that what you hide with such care won't show
        At a glance.
Nothing is done, nothing is said,
But don't make the mistake of believing us dead:
        I shouldn't dance.

We're afraid in that case you'll have a fall.
We've been watching you over the garden wall
        For hours.
The sky is darkening like a stain,
Something is going to fall like rain
        And it won't be flowers.

When the green field comes off like a lid
Revealing what was much better hid:
And look, behind you without a sound
The woods have come up and are standing round
        In deadly crescent.

The bolt is sliding in its groove,
Outside the window is the black remov-
        ers' van.
And now with sudden swift emergence
Come the woman in dark glasses and humpbacked surgeons
        And the scissors man.

This might happen any day
So be careful what you say
        Or do.
Be clean, be tidy, oil the lock,
Trim the garden, wind the clock,
        Remember the Two.

W. H. Auden

From A Lyttell Geste of Robyn Hode:

'Come now forth, Lytell Johan,
And harken to my tale;
A better yemen I knowe none,
To seke a monk's male.
How moch is in yonder other corser?' sayd Robyn,
'The soth must we see.'
'By Our Lady,' than sayd the monke,
'That were no curteysye,
To bydde a man to dyner,
And syth hym bete and bynde.'
'It is our old maner,' sayd Robyn,
'To leue but lytell behynde.'

From The Beggar's Opera:

'Since laws were made for every degree,
To curb vice in others as well as in me,
I wonder we ha'n't better company
Upon Tyburn Tree!'

John Gay

acascepticism, alan garner, alan moore, alfred hitchcock, archy and mehitabel, arthuriana, awfully big adventures, being human, beowulf, bitter, black squirrels, blackadder, blue lotus, bobby darin, borat, carmilla, cats, china mieville, chris bachalo, christabel, confabulation, courtney love, daria, david byrne, david cronenberg, david mack, deadwood, death line, del the funky homosapien, depistaggio, derek walcott, dick turpin, doo wop, douglas adams, earthsea, eddie campbell, evelyn waugh, fallen angels, fiction suits, folklore, frankie lymon, frazer irving, futurama, g.k. chesterton, get carter, ghost world, googlemancy, graffiti, grant morrison, h.g. wells, hanif kureishi, iain sinclair, j.h. williams, jack in the green, jaime hernandez, james stewart, jane austen, jeremy irons, jerome k. jerome, jessica harper's reaction shots, joanna newsom, john wyndham, julian cope, julie burchill, kathleen hanna, kazuo ishiguro, ken livingstone, kenickie, kitsune, kristin hersh, lady sovereign, lee perry, leonard cohen, les cités obscures, les comics obscures, locas, london, lost rivers, luther arkwright, marmalade atkins, massive attack, max carlish, memetic engineering, mervyn peake, michael caine, michael moorcock, michael zulli, michelle de swarte, monkey magic, mythopoeic fiction, negative capability, neil gaiman, neil jordan, neverwhere, nicholas van hoogstraten, nicolas roeg, oliver twist, otis redding, paradise lost, pat barker, patti smith, peter ackroyd, peter bogdanovich, philip larkin, pilgrim, poplarism, powell and pressburger, psychogeography, pub gardens, puck, punch and judy, punk, quatermass, ray bradbury, reynard the fox, richard dadd, richard thompson, robin hood ballads, robin of sherwood, roger zelazny, roy orbison, russell t davies, sam cooke, scary go round, sherlock holmes, smart fruit, solaris, susanna clarke, sylar and super friends, t.s. eliot, tam lin, ted lewis, text adventures, the bagthorpes, the beggar's opera, the borribles, the dark is rising, the invisibles, the mabinogion, the wicker man, thomas more, tom lehrer, tom ripley, torchwood, treeware, undone, val lewton, wes anderson, william blake, witchfinder general


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